Life Is Short

SO. MANY. CHANGES.

-First, the CCM lost a great music minister.

-Then, I have to prepare to graduate, and find a job, and a new place to live.

-Then (and I know quite a few people were proud of me for this), I found a wonderful girl who I could call my significant other, and was happy.

-And then, I'm alone again.

...........................

Lets step through this.

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The Catholic diocese in Richmond took the liberty this Fall semester 2011 to finally appoint a managing body for the Catholic Campus Ministry at ODU.

This is all well and good, except that they were also kind enough to (basically) boot out the existing music ministry led by my good friend Fred Johnson.

Honestly, what would you say if you'd been leading a music group for 16 years at your own behest - and you were good at it! - and the higher-ups were like, "Well that's cool, but we don't need you any more."? And then  you were replaced with someone fresh out of college with no experience, who didn't even bother to talk to you and learn the best way to go about doing what you did?

I really couldn't care less about the management - but taking the music and downgrading it like that was - and is - something really hard for me to handle.

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I graduate this December 2011 with a Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering, minoring in Computer Engineering, Physics, and Music.

My lease ends at the end of November, which means that I will be without a home during exam week. Fun, eh? Let's see who I can bunk with for a bit.

I was contacted after a job fair and have a phone interview lined up - and that's about it as far as jobs go. I can't legally work at my current job once I graduate, because it's not "directly related to [my] major". I am allowed up to 90 days of unemployment once I graduate, and then ... I have no idea.

Let me just say that you probably have no idea how f***ing scared I am.

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It would be inaccurate to say 'I found her', because quite technically we kind of accidentally found each other thanks to my friend's computer (no, not a dating website. No, not a porn website either! For crying out loud, why on earth would you think like that?). Let's just say God works in mysterious ways, apparently, using broken computers and dorm roommates.

Lindsie is like and unlike me in so many ways, and someone I could truly connect with. I believe she confirmed, for me, an idea my friend postulated - namely, that I could only be truly happy with someone on an intellectual level similar to mine - and by God, she was close.

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Honestly, of all the times for me to meet my first girlfriend, now would be the worst, wouldn't it? About to graduate, no idea if I'd be in the same area, with the stresses of my final classes - and with her being an undergraduate researcher and studying full-time, every time we hung out it had the lingering feeling that it was detracting from our study time (and several times, that was in fact the case).

I'm certainly not better off now that we've parted ways ... but I'm still in a better position than before I met her, because now I know the joy that can be borne of a healthy emotional and intellectual relationship - and to think that I fully expected to go single for the rest of my life before I met her ...

One of the few things that might get me down about it, though, is that I can no longer joke about having never been in a relationship before. 

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Soooo ... yeah, I'm a bit miffed - and, perhaps, overwhelmed - but I can't help but think I'm supposed to learn something from all of this. "Grow up", as Lindsie liked to say, is the rather obvious one, but I think "Persevere" is the lesson I'd like to take away from this. Kind of like Fred, who's started up his own choir group outside of the ODU campus to continue doing what he loves. I really want to join them, but first I have to make the new CCM music ministry the best that it can be before I leave. (And then I have to find a job. And a place to live. But let's not go there yet ...)