Thursday, December 22, 2016

Selflessishness

Everything I do, I do it for you ... for you to do for me as I do for you ... I think?
Maybe it's all for China. (Thank you Tim Minchin ...)

So far, it seems that the oft-pondered mystery of human contact - or lack thereof, technically - is figuratively (and perhaps even literally) debilitating.

It's a matter of trust, you see. I don't trust myself, so how can anybody else trust me, let alone love me?
Touch is all I know, all I feel, all I fear. Probably won't be long now before I get lovingly caressed by the considerable momentum of an errant vehicle. To die without a hug; is it worth it?

Am I worth it? Somebody save me from this fucking hellhole, because my conscience is irrevocably past the point of apathy.

Also, random girl crying on the side of the road. I wish I'd had the strength of character to talk to you. For what it's worth, I love you - or at least, I hope somebody does.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

The Bad Thoughts

No more BFF person.

Can't talk to anyone.

Can't be honest, can't trust.

Can't stop comparing.

Can't stop seeing, can't stop hearing.

Can't stop feeling, can't stop thinking.

Nobody asked for this stunted world - I sure as hell didn't ...

A breath of fresh air? The brush of skin? The void in my soul, my eyes out of control.

Don't leave me alone with my thoughts.