Sunday, October 12, 2014

Is Trust Worth It?

Who do you trust?

Offhand, I can only think of a few (which is all well and good, since it's inadvisable to be too trusting outside of an ideal world). If we try to be specific to situations, the number varies wildly. Situations of engineering, art, music, science, etc. A matter of different people being able to do different things, making it a requirement that my trust be flexible.

That being said, that's not exactly what Zefrank is talking about, is it? It's not simply trusting people to do what they are good at; it's the ability to allow another to hold a part of you with no fear.
I don't think I've ever truly known that.
I don't know if I'm even capable of giving or receiving that kind of trust.
There goes my hope of ever managing a functional relationship (notwithstanding my issues with actually initiating said relationship).

Oh, look at me crying about my problems, though. Something tells me that I could have it much worse.
And yet ... somehow, that doesn't make me feel much better.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Destiny / Hollow Entitlement

Anyone care to explain why, over the past eight years, my thoughts always return to her?
Because I sure as hell don't know why.

To be fair, I don't see why not, either - but that's not the point. The point is that I don't know why. I don't like not knowing why. It makes me feel out of control (although the idea that I was ever in control, is kind of funny). I guess I should be grateful we don't live in this particular world of soulmates? Or do we?

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It's a hollow relief that I don't have to go through the shit that half of the world population deals with.