If I start with the words "skin hunger", I feel the need to clarify that no, I am not a cannibal.
Touch deprivation is very much a real thing, and (evidently) not talked about nearly enough.
I'm not qualified to talk about it, except to say that it's highly probable that I suffer from it.
But if I'm not qualified, who is? And why aren't more people, more qualified people, talking about it more openly?
(I mean, I know the answer to that question, but jeez it's depressing.)
It's more a psychological problem than anything else, but we all know what the state of psychological help is for me. (Hint: it's not in good shape where I am.)
Have I peaked? How do others see me? Do I exude the hunger through my pores? Can women smell it off of me?
Who's going to help? I mean, I'm all for those 'talk-to-another-person-about-your problems' apps and initiatives, but why can't people accept that the effect of those is marginal at best when the root of the problem remains unaddressed? This problem is never going to be solved by words that do not lead to a touch.
Platonic, friendly, affectionate, anything ... and while we're on the subject, fuck you for just dismissing it with "get yourself a pet".
Yes, you. Fuck you. Fuck you very much.
I mean you in particular.
Do you not think I would have tried that, if I felt even the slightest chance it might be good for me?
You think I want to live with this pain, this fear, this utter existential dread and loneliness forever? Do you think, do you honestly think, some dumb animal is going to help with that when I can barely even connect with humans whose communication I can mostly understand?
Jesus. Talking about this isn't helping. You could always tell me to 'touch myself' but hey, are you naive enough to believe that hasn't already happened? If it helped I wouldn't be here talking about it. Some days I hug myself and fall asleep wishing I knew how to cry.
Come cry with me. Please.
And don't you dare fucking tell me it's sexist to be straight. I didn't ask for this. You didn't ask for this. Fuck you even more than the rest of those proselytizing pet-promoting fuckers.
Touch deprivation is very much a real thing, and (evidently) not talked about nearly enough.
I'm not qualified to talk about it, except to say that it's highly probable that I suffer from it.
But if I'm not qualified, who is? And why aren't more people, more qualified people, talking about it more openly?
(I mean, I know the answer to that question, but jeez it's depressing.)
It's more a psychological problem than anything else, but we all know what the state of psychological help is for me. (Hint: it's not in good shape where I am.)
Have I peaked? How do others see me? Do I exude the hunger through my pores? Can women smell it off of me?
Who's going to help? I mean, I'm all for those 'talk-to-another-person-about-your problems' apps and initiatives, but why can't people accept that the effect of those is marginal at best when the root of the problem remains unaddressed? This problem is never going to be solved by words that do not lead to a touch.
Platonic, friendly, affectionate, anything ... and while we're on the subject, fuck you for just dismissing it with "get yourself a pet".
Yes, you. Fuck you. Fuck you very much.
I mean you in particular.
Do you not think I would have tried that, if I felt even the slightest chance it might be good for me?
You think I want to live with this pain, this fear, this utter existential dread and loneliness forever? Do you think, do you honestly think, some dumb animal is going to help with that when I can barely even connect with humans whose communication I can mostly understand?
Jesus. Talking about this isn't helping. You could always tell me to 'touch myself' but hey, are you naive enough to believe that hasn't already happened? If it helped I wouldn't be here talking about it. Some days I hug myself and fall asleep wishing I knew how to cry.
Come cry with me. Please.
And don't you dare fucking tell me it's sexist to be straight. I didn't ask for this. You didn't ask for this. Fuck you even more than the rest of those proselytizing pet-promoting fuckers.
