Reconstitutional

One day, I went to play music I've played for years (for old time's sake), and I was told I was being "disrespectful". By a kid fresh out of college - less than a year older than me - and only recently initiated in the instrumental arts. 
Disrespectful, you're telling me? 
Disrespectful, to exercise your talents in the service of others? 
Disrespectful, to help to teach, guide, and inspire in the ways of the glory of the Almighty? 
SHIT, MY LIFE IS A LIE. 


Ever had an appendage ripped off? If you're thinking "I can imagine" - just let me get the pliers. 
(This is, of course, metaphorical, as I have yet to experience such a physical trauma ... but the principle remains the same.) 
A spiritual dismemberment can be quite painful, though. 


 This is of course related to my prior rant on the new policy of the Catholic ministry on campus. A ministry that can now never be complete and truly fruitful as long as that particular policy remains in effect. Just like a tree with its roots cut off. Yes, I will go so far as to say that, as long as the policy exists, I cannot have respect for whoever it was that instigated it, and I can't help but feel for the loss that all the newcomers there will never know.
It hurts, did you know?
Come, feel the wound, much as Thomas had to see and touch before he could believe.
_________________________ 


 On a more thoughtful note, thanks to a friend I have discovered a new book, a book made of sheer intensity. Written by none other than Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, God's Debris is one of the most incredible books I have ever read - the beauty of it being that I am versed in virtually all the important concepts it presents. An experiment in 132 pages of pure unadulterated thought ... I recommend it to anyone and everyone who can take a mental beating. (You lucky few, you know who you are.) I am overloaded with the anticipation of perusing its follow-up: The Religion War.

Schismatic ...

So I finally cooled off enough to go back to the Catholic group on campus. And I ended up talking to the powers that be, which pretty much confirmed my suspicions.

The times, they are a-changing, and it deeply pains me that it may not be for the best, and even though I can see this there is nothing I can do. Oh, the truly bittersweet joy of leaving Plato's Cave - God help me.

_____________________

In unrelated news, so to speak, I am most excited at the possibility of obtaining a job working at computing giant Lenovo. This would be quite a score, especially considering it'd be my first real industry position. This will be, if not a turning point, at least a major uphill climb in my life, as I learn to truly be self-sufficient and responsible. I know that I can settle in well - hopefully I might learn a thing or two more about the professional world.

As a good friend of mine would say:
Carpe Diem!

I add on to that:
Que sera, sera.

Feel Like a Used Spare? Care to Share?

DISCLAIMER: This is a rant on a deeply personal level, so feel free to consider it biased. Long story short - I am railing against what I believe is an un-Christian policy implemented by an administration that is very new, but otherwise quite effective. Just note that this has absolutely nothing to do with me being an international student, that is irrelevant here. I do not mean to denigrate the people in charge - only the policy they implemented. 

Unfortunately, however, the nature of this policy doesn't make it easy to keep the two separate. This post ends up being more of a victim story, but hey, we don't all live the same life. Your comments are welcome, but unless you were part of the group I am talking about for at least a couple of years prior, you might not be able to fully grasp how deeply this affects myself and others.

Capische?

Good.

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So, those of you who follow me closely on Facebook (I doubt there are a lot of you) may have noticed a recent status declaring my separation from the Catholic group on campus, due to the new administration's alumni policy (or, more accurately, the "get-rid-of-alumni" policy).

A little bit of background here:

I'm a musician. One of the things that keeps me connected to God and to other people, in a way that goes deeper than any Christian rite, is the sharing of musical talent.

My friend Fred was of a similar disposition. He led the music ministry at the Catholic group for over 15 years, on his own free time, sometimes bringing in musical friends along the way. When a person invests that much in something that would otherwise be purely recreational - you know that something runs deep there. Keep in mind that Fred has played guitar since childhood, and is a truly inspirational leader.

Fred led the music ministry until Spring 2011 - and the new administration, appointed by the diocese, took the reins. They very nicely but firmly instituted a new policy of "encouraging alumni and non-students to move on to a 'real' parish". This is the excuse that was used to (essentially) get rid of our non-student musical friends Mike and BJ, which - any group musician will appreciate this - was akin to forcibly breaking up a family. Fred therefore chose to leave (even though, I was told, he would have been allowed to stay on in an advisory capacity), which in turn alienated people like Sue, Lacey, Marc, MJ, and several other alumni and non-students who had been at CCM for years and invested themselves in keeping it strong.

Can anyone tell me how discouraging the participation and involvement of the people who helped build up and support a student organization could be a good thing? An accurate analogy, by any standard, is an example of builders who lived in a home they helped build, but, once they moved out to make room for others, were no longer welcome to come again and help out. Does that make any sense to you?

One thing that boggles me is the hypocrisy of the whole situation. None of the members of the new administration were previously a part of the ODU community - and yet they implement a policy that would drive away people who actually 'know the ropes' and have the connections to bring more students in. The fact that the policy even came to exist is a solid indicator of their lack of experience. Admittedly, this cuts deep for me personally very much because of the departure of a music minister who was also a good friend - but let's look at this objectively. What organization, in their right mind, and particularly with a new leadership, would alienate the resources of a person with years more in leadership as well as musical experience?

Here's a thought: what do they mean by moving on to a 'real' parish? Do they mean a church? Does that mean to say that what they do on campus is a lie?

Because anywhere that there is an ordained priest and a congregation is considered a parish, and Mass can be celebrated, and wherever Mass is celebrated can be considered a church of sorts. And Mass is celebrated on campus, and yet I was told I need to move on to a real church, so does that mean that the Mass on campus is not real, since they don't consider it a 'real' parish?

I hope you can see where this might seem confusing.

Also assigned by the diocese, to replace Fred as music minister, is a lovely Filipino woman who, as luck would have it, also plays guitar. Let me just say first that I grew up around a massive Filipino population, so there is absolutely no racism involved here. I love Filipinos for their innate musical ability, love of singing, and extremely strong faith - this lady was a prime example, and I love her personality.

Now, believe me when I tell you that this is not easy for me to say:

As much as she is a wonderful person, speaking as a musician - it was a slap to the face. No amount of faith and devotion is any replacement for a solid leader and good musicianship. The fact is that, in even a semester, she would have learned as much - or more - about music and leadership from Fred, than she might learn from years anywhere else.

There, I said it.

And in a different situation, it would never have been an issue - but thanks to the new policy, there is no way to avoid it. It is not her fault that she is in deep without the proper support.

Any musician knows that without a confident leader, the music can never be good. I have seen this borne out in years of classical music training and good old observation - so feel free to disagree, but good luck proving me wrong.

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I have more I want to say, but writing this post has not helped me to cool off as blogging has done in the past. So I figure I should quit now before I lose coherence.