This Boisterous World, My Oyster

So I graduated December 2011, big whoop(s). Here's to a joyous, jammin' New Year, what say you lovely people?

Now all that remains is for me to receive my work authorization from the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS), and - oh, wait for it - GETTING A JOB.

For the uninitiated (which is pretty much everyone who isn't an international student), here's the deal:

• The visa status for an international student in the U.S.A. is designated F-1 (scholar).
• F-1 visa holders are not eligible to be employed off-campus AT ALL, except under extenuating circumstances. (An obvious exception to this 'employment' rule is simple stuff such as baby sitting, or yard work, or something of that nature, which can't be regulated. Or being illegally employed somewhere for cash only. But, there marks a difference between 'legal' and 'illegal' under-the-table employment. If that makes sense.)
• There was something I could have tried before I graduated, called "Curricular Practical Training" (CPT). It's too late for that, so I'm not going to talk about it. But feel free to read the link.
• Of particular importance, now that I have graduated, is what is called "Optional Practical Training" (OPT), of which there are two types - regular and "STEM". 
  - From the international student website: "Regular OPT is temporary employment authorized by Immigration for F-1 visa holders for 12 months.  It must be directly related to your major and gives you a chance to put your classroom knowledge into real world practice." F-1 students can apply for this up to 14 weeks before their graduation date, or, if unsure about graduation, up to 4 weeks after. 
  - STEM OPT is an extension to the regular OPT period, which applies solely to students with majors in Science, Technology, Engineering, or Mathematics. From the website: "STEM refers to majors in Sciences, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics.  It allows a student who majored in one of those areas to obtain a STEM OPT extension of an additional 17 months, bringing the total OPT time to 29 months." However, for STEM OPT to apply, the employer MUST be E-Verified.
  
  
  So, the translation: If I am able to obtain a job (which MUST be related to my major), I can be employed for up to a year from the start date I have requested. If this employer is E-Verified, I am eligible for the STEM OPT extension and can continue to work for an additional year and five months. If the employer is NOT E-Verified, I must find a new employer that is E-Verified in order to get the STEM extension.
  Capische?
  
  Now for the rest:
• When applying for OPT, we are supposed to allow for up to 90 days of processing time by immigration. If I obtain a job and my requested start date passes, I am NOT ALLOWED to begin work unless and until I have the document from immigration in my hand. 
• During the regular OPT period of 12 months, I am allowed a cumulative total of 90 days during which I can be unemployed. If I am able to obtain a job and make it as far as getting STEM OPT, this cumulative 'unemployment clock' is extended 30 more days, for an absolute total of 120 days of unemployment during a 29-month period.
• If the total limit of unemployed days is reached (90 days for regular OPT, and 120 for STEM), I have three options (and whichever I choose would have to be implemented before that limit is surpassed, or else I would be in violation of my visa status):
  - Leave the country and continue my job search from my home country
  - Return to school for a new degree program, and lose the OPT authorization (also, the new degree must be GREATER than the one previously achieved, so I'd be screwed if I was a PhD graduate).
  - Obtain a new visa status. Any of you wonderful American females want to marry me?

Can't you tell that I just LOVE being an international student?