Culture

So there was this girl, right? She liked me.

I liked her too, so we hung out.

Then we became close, and our friends were like, Whaaat?

And so we were, until we weren't.

Some friends were like, Whaaat? again, and some were Meh. and some were like, Yay!

Honestly, I don't get it. This pervasive belief that you can't maintain a friendship after a break-up. I suppose it could stem from the sound of that word. Break-up. Bleh. Breaking off pieces of yourself, is what it brings to mind if you let it simmer long enough. Why? I wasn't the one who ended it, and I told her from the beginning that if it didn't feel right then I was counting on her to tell me, because I had no prior experience to compare it with. I tried to understand her, and through her understand myself. It's all about me, after all, isn't it? Just like friends who care about one or both of us but don't realize how little they know of the whole story. It's all about them and that's how they define their friendships, somehow. I wish I knew how that worked.

I shared my heart with her, and she shared hers with me, and knowing I have absolutely no prior experience in such matters, she gave me patience, which I cannot appreciate enough.

But maybe I wasn't ready. Maybe she wasn't ready. That's no excuse to lose a friend - and no excuse for others to judge us by.

Even though it's essentially encoded in our brains to do so. Whether by genetics or environment, I don't care. We fight against our primal urges using the seeming excuse that a higher power sees all. But if fear of that higher power is all that stops someone from being a bad person then I don't know if I care for that someone, because I can safely say I am not afraid of God, and yet I still know how to be a good person. As far as I am aware, anyway. I could be wrong, though, so don't give up hope yet.

I don't even know where that came from. Divine inspiration, perhaps?

You really can't put as much emotion as you'd like into a message based in text, no matter how much you try. Someone is going to misunderstand, or misinterpret, or over-analyze, or something. As adept as I am at using it, the English language is really effing limited in its expressiveness.

I wonder how many girlfriends Jesus had growing up.