Not counting the mainstream blogs that I read, I follow exactly two people right now. I don't know if they follow me. I don't know if they'd care. Well, I know one of them might. Kind of.
I don't know why I do music, do I? I was ... in it, and it was fun, I think.
I learned some things in a haphazard way. I can sing for the most part, and - interestingly? - my voice, quite possibly, is strong only because of my rocky relationship with my brother.
But I don't have the vocal control that I've seen people accomplish. I don't have a falsetto that I know of, possibly due to a bout of strep throat in my teens.
I've mentioned before how my mind seems to operate, and that hasn't changed. Yes, I was instructed in violin / viola; no I did not have formal instruction on mandolin or for my voice. But what worth are those instruments on their own? I'm not good enough that I could command others' respect - I'm only novel enough that I demand their envy. The instant I leave that bubble and go someplace with actually good musicians, the jig is up. I know this, because I was in that place where the good musicians are, for four years. And they all show up online, with so many others.
I'm not worth any of this. I need someone to tell me why I go on.
I don't know why I do music, do I? I was ... in it, and it was fun, I think.
I learned some things in a haphazard way. I can sing for the most part, and - interestingly? - my voice, quite possibly, is strong only because of my rocky relationship with my brother.
But I don't have the vocal control that I've seen people accomplish. I don't have a falsetto that I know of, possibly due to a bout of strep throat in my teens.
I've mentioned before how my mind seems to operate, and that hasn't changed. Yes, I was instructed in violin / viola; no I did not have formal instruction on mandolin or for my voice. But what worth are those instruments on their own? I'm not good enough that I could command others' respect - I'm only novel enough that I demand their envy. The instant I leave that bubble and go someplace with actually good musicians, the jig is up. I know this, because I was in that place where the good musicians are, for four years. And they all show up online, with so many others.
I'm not worth any of this. I need someone to tell me why I go on.
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